General posts about art and culture topics.

I'm Going To Hell...

The Official Walkthrough Guide To The Ultimate Idiot Test

This is a follow-up to the Official Guide To The Idiot Test 4... its a step by step cheat sheet for the most recent idiot test... instead of being called the Idiot Test 5, Ryan Curtis decided to call it The Ultimate Idiot Test.

Please note, it is considered cheating to use this answer guide... and I'm not sure how much it will help you for this one. The Ultimate Idiot test is extremely repetitive, and has several "answer fast" sections. Referring to this guide might just slow you down.

Anyway, read on for the full guide!

Our Dumb World

The Onion has a new book out, called Our Dumb World, and they have politely created a Google Maps KML layer for it... all ready for mashups and what not. O'Reilly beat me to the punch, but my mashup is bigger and more readable :-P

Read on to learn more about Our Dumb World...

Don't Tase Me, Wario!

I know, I know... the only reason I like this is because I'm a Nintendo Wii freak. I just finished Super Paper Mario this week. But even if you're not a gamer or a geek, you gotta admit this is cool:

Pure awesome. Yep, those are singing Telsa coils! They do it by turning on and off the Tesla coils at the same frequency of the note being played. You can also play chords. For the truly geeky, check out this description:

(Hat tip: CrunchGear and Cordell)

Friday Monkey Blogging

Dude... this monkey is insane:

Sorry for the lame picture-in-picture editing and general bad quality... but its totally worth it to see this monkey taunt and slap around two tigers...

Friday Banana Blogging: Goodbye, Cruel world!

Not to be outdone with last month's My Hands Are Bananas post...

Walked into the kitchen this morning and noticed that the bananas had perhaps gotten a bit too ripe. I've used this banana hook for a long time but have never seen any do this.

Alas... at least they are now in a better place...

(hat tip, Digg)

When Wikipedians Attend Political Rallies

Please note: if you laughed, you're a geek.

(Hat Tip xkcd)

Friday Bizarre: My Hands Are Bananas

From the Euro-dork department:

My Hands Are Bananas

Yes... beware the milky pirate...

Business Networking Tip: Eat Me

From the only in Japan department...

A new product, named Taberu Me, is taking business cards to an extreme. Instead of printing on something as mundane as paper, this one opts for printing on peanuts. Or beans. Or cashews. Why be ordinary when you can go for the gusto and be incredibly weird?

Some analysis from Treehugger

Pink Tentacle says "Taberu means “eat” and Me could either be an abbreviation of meishi (”business card”) or “me” in English, in which case Taberu Me would be saying “Eat me” — a message you probably don’t want to convey to your new business partner at the first meeting.

Innovative idea, and it will certainly make you memorable... but in Japan -- where trading business cards borders upon a sacred ritual -- I don't see this catching on.

Seriously, that name is like Bite The Wax Tadpole weird...

The Future, Microsoft-Style

This parody ad for the Microsoft Surface table is classic:

Official Walkthrough Guide to the Idiot Test 4

OK, I've been getting a lot of questions about how I solved the Idiot Test 4. Its a bit tricky, so I decided to put together all the answers and the passwords for the test in a walk-through format. This should help you beat (and cheat) the idiot test.

Update: Ryan Curtis, the creator of the Idiot Test, has made this the official guide... and clarifies that indeed, using this guide is cheating!

Read on to view the spoiler...

m.o.m.m.y needs c.o.f.f.e.e

Another burning missive from the "not quite right" faction of the internet...

M.O.M.M.Y needs C.O.F.F.E.E

Brilliantly bizarre... And I don't even like coffee.

The Idiot Test!

Since I posted the Nerd Test a while back, I guess the time is right to post The Idiot Test now. Its a lot trickier than the Nerd Test, so be careful... otherwise the test will insult you!

Also, three answers in the original idiot test are wrong... how deliciously ironic... Snaps to the first commenter to find all three, and explain why they are wrong.

Update: There are now five versions of The Idiot Test, by Ryan Curtis:

Thanks to Ryan Curtis, the creator of these tests, for keeping me updated.

Note: The idiot test 4 is a bit trickier, so I put together a official answer guide for the Idiot Test 4 with all the answers... I also put together the official answer guide for the Ultimate Idiot Test. Naturally, its cheating to use them... but if you're stuck, have at it!

Favorite Flickr Photo Set

I think I found my favorite Flickr photo set, Flickr's 100 Best. A sample:

Absolutely stunning...

over and over and over and over and over

There's something not quite right about this video...

Actually, there's something not quite right about this band...

and yet I cannot look away...

Its like a fusion of DEVO and Napoleon Dynamite.

Speaking of Marketing...

Speaking of marketing... I can't think of a better ad for getting new people to join your company than this:

For the Flash-impaired, this is Lip Dub, the soundtrack is Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger. It was thrown together in one take by a group of folks who work at Vimeo, CollegeHumor, Busted Tees, and Defunker.

Pure awesome.

UPDATE: Ze Frank concurs, and links to many other lipdubs on Vimeo.

God Takes Visa

Just thought you'd like to know...

And the annual interest rate is 100% deductible against past and future sins. So be sure to max out your card on God while on your deathbed!

hat tip success warrior

Ok Go -- In the Living Room And Dancing

By now, you'd have to be living under a rock to not have heard of the band OK GO... what with their treadmill fetish and awesome backyard choreography and all.

A few months back they came out with another great video for Do What You Want. It was good, but disappointingly well produced. I mean, really... an OK GO video with more than one camera??? Its like they forgot their roots.

Well, a few weeks ago they released another video for Do What You Want, and I like it much more. It has that whole hipster talent show on crack vibe. Enjoy!

How Does Ze Frank Do It???

I've been in London for almost 3 weeks now... and this is only my fifth blog post... and I stole my last one.

I just don't understand how some of these bloggers find the time to travel, tour, work, party, relax, and blog all in the same day. Any time I went near a computer I was either working or Skyping.

I did plenty of writing, but always in my Moleskine. I didn't have time to put those ideas into a full fledged web essay... so there they sit.

One of my favorite blogs is The Show with Ze Frank. Its sometimes crude, but usually funny. This guy is an internet guru, he travels all over doing... well... I don't really know. But he always finds time to put together a well edited video blog with little songs and snapshots. And he does it every day.

How the heck does he find the time? Does he ever relax?

I wonder if he's really annoying to hang out with, or has OCD or something... always antsy if he's not blogging.

Or maybe he's just a good multi-tasker...

I Like Monkeys

Following up on my last dose of the surreal, here's a wonderful essay by Charles Groom that always disturbs me, and makes me smile:

I like monkeys.

The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200.

I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour. Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta dropped dead. Kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later.

Damn cheap monkeys.

I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.

I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad. I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want to call the plumber. I was embarassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad.

I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire. Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn't improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better. I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said that the city wasn't allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution. I hand them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they liked them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.

I like monkeys.

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